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 The Plea for Pets

The Plea for Pets


The peacock is back. Or more precisely, his wife, the peahen. She has been adopted by the children when their Get A Pet Any Pet campaign recently ran aground after they borrowed a puppy.

Within 30 minutes of the pup being in the house it had done 3 wees, one very big smelly poo, eaten the Eldest Boy’s carelessly left Double Decker, unravelled the Daughter’s woven homework project and did a runner down the lane. After the peahen. The Curly One still thinks dogs rule but the other two have suddenly gone very quiet. Instead their focus is on 3 large dirty white eggs nestled in a thicket by the B&B. Turns out the peahen has decided to incubate her babes on the doorstep of our thriving holiday business, noisily, indignantly squawking as the guests come and go. What was a quirky little extra for country hungry towns people who breathed in the clean air tinged with sea and drank nice cider looking across the sweeping valley has become a big fat pain in the behind. ‘Oh don’t mind our friendly peahen, isn’t she impressive! Actually if you could try not to sit that side of the courtyard because she does like the evening sun. She’s not normally this aggressive but her nest is there, careful, it’s to the left of your foot. If you could just keep the noise down a little as she isn’t too fond of laughter….’ The last lot of guests left with thinly disguised frustration for their feathered neighbour. She has got cockier, noisier, less houseproud and thinks she should be nestled in amongst the white linen with her 3 comedy eggs rather than our paying guests who have come for a quiet life. I call my neighbour who actually owns the peahen to explain that as much as we love her (waning rapidly) our guests don’t. The children refuse to speak to me and refer me to the story in the bible when Jesus was thrown out of the temple. Their church school should be proud. My neighbour insinuates that we may have actually kidnapped her peahen and could possibly be holding her against her will. I find the bird perched on the table pecking at the cooling loaf I had just made for the B&B. I think it may be time to get a dog…

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